My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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