well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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