i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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