I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My vagina just clenched in fear
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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