Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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