He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
