Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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