There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
