You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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