where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
