I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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