You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
