My first STD was from a foam party
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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