I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
