atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
