I hope mine doesn't look like that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
