holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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