btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
