you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
