I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
