Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
