I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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