My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
