Can i not drive my cunt home
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
