I wanna passion pit in your ass
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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