dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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