do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize