3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
