I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
