And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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