There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize