Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
