Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
