I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
