We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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