i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
