Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i out mim tonsoeep
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
