Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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