Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
