I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
