And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
