Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize