And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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