It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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