Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
