yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
even my farts smell like vagina
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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