i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
