is your mom at the bar?
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
