I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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