If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
