Is it normal to miss your booty call?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
