Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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