David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
