My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
