is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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