I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
