your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
