He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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