Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
